Homecoming
How can I say adequately and simultaneously "I could not have lived this without you" and "I wish you'd never stepped within this painful space"? I'd never choose to hurt you... but you chose to hurt with me. I don't have words for that, but I am grateful. I am changed.
Friends, my Hyrum died today. I held him in my arms as he exhaled one final time. I tapped on Michael's sleeping hand and brought him up to see. We held him there together, cried and prayed and reminisced. So still, his quiet body... This whole day has felt the same- so soft, so still, so quiet. No more sherbet? Grunts and groans? No more restless tossing, turning, sitting up and laying down? Where's all the constant caregiving? The counting days and hours? No more tiny syringes? Did we ALL get in the car? Both me and Mike... together? With both kids? No rushing home?
No grand soliloquies today- just news, and more to come. We'll finalize the funeral and obituary soon, then post on here and Facebook.
My dear friends, Hyrum is home.
Hyrum is home! ❤️
ReplyDeletePrayers and love your way!
Love you all so much!
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you and your family. May the Lord hold you and comfort you. Your family has been through so much and I stand in awe at your faith and love. Much love ❤️
ReplyDeleteI put Michael, Hyrum and your name in the temple last night. Your strength as a family is amazing. Thank you for letting us walk with you. I’m so sorry! He is home and free from pain. Love to all the Mace family.
ReplyDeleteSo much more to say, but for now: in my belief system, those little dots of light near your arm in the photo (sometimes referred to as orbs, other times explained as lens flares or reflections) represent energy and/or people beyond the veil. I believe you are surrounded by so many sources of strength who are here in this pain with you to witness and to strengthen. None of it lessens your pain; none of it makes this okay. But we’re here, and we love you.
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DeleteI wish I had words to adequately express my love for you and your family. Your Faith has strengthened my own. Thank you for sharing this journey with us, my heart aches for all of you and rejoices for Hyrum. He is who he is because of you and Michael. You did so good, he is so loved.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing the painful news—but news we have been invested in. We love you and your family and continue to pray for you.
ReplyDeleteWe love your family. Many prayers and tears have been shed as you’ve shared your journey with all of us in such a brave, honest and eloquent way. We continue to pray for you all ❤️
ReplyDeleteYour life is changed but mine too, in some way. Death is not so scary if you are sorrunded by love. You have lifted us every time you shared your testimony, you have encoraged us to keep on Living even if life is really hard. Thank you all. Love you all
ReplyDeleteOrnella
Today is a sacred day. I love you all. I pray for you all. Home…I hope I can one day return home and meet Hyrum whole and sanctified. Peace I pray for your continual peace.
ReplyDeleteMy deepest condolences. In my sadness, I can only offer my divine knowledge that death is merely a comma and not an exclamation point. So very proud of your family and how you've walked this sacred path. May you feel the Comforter near in the days ahead. Todd and Kamille
ReplyDeleteI can’t imagine how difficult this must be. Sending so many prayers your way ❤️
ReplyDeleteWe send you our love and our prayers, Michael, Erica and your precious family! From Niel and Teresa Corry
ReplyDeleteYou’re family has been absolutely amazing since the moment Hyrum shared with you that Heavenly Father needed him. You have mentored the world on how to draw near to heaven and family and friends in time of need You have the strength to question, study , pray and share your testimony. Thank you for sharing the beauty that was Hyrum’s time on earth. I know your two angels and many more will visit you often. Thank you for your bravery in telling us, being concerned about our hearts as yours is breaking. What a remarkable family. Hugs, Sharon
ReplyDeleteWords will not do justice for what I feel for your family. I love you all. Hyrum was an Angel who lived among us on earth….. he is such a special child with an old soul. Love and hugs for you all.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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ReplyDeleteIt’s no wonder that Hyrum was sent to share his short life with such amazing people. You have been courageous, vulnerable, and faithful through this entire journey, and it’s been an honor to walk it with you, even from afar. Thank you for being willing to share Hyrum and your story with so many. None of us feel his passing like you and Michael do, but I hope this heaviness can be lifted even a tiny bit knowing that so many are surrounding you with love and prayers, and that you and Hyrum have touched so many lives.
ReplyDeleteYou have been and remain in our prayers. We love you!
ReplyDeleteAbrazos a la distancia Erica, están en nuestros corazones 🎈❤️
ReplyDeleteDear Erica and Michael, what a difficult journey you have traveled. Thank you for sharing it with us. I’ve felt your love, faith, strength and pain.
ReplyDeleteAs I’ve prayed for your family I asked Heavenly Father to send angels to strengthen you, comfort you and give you peace. But most importantly to bless little Hyrum to not suffer so much. You note have an angel watching over your family.
May you feel the love and prayers from all of us.
Being allowed to witness this journey your family has gone through has strengthened my and many others’ testimony. Hyrum blessed all of our lives, even though we didn’t know him as well. You have allowed us to live, grieve and love with you along this difficult sacred journey and I am grateful for your gift. Hyrum looks so peaceful. And I know he is with so many loved ones now. He is one of the great ones our Heavenly Father saved for the most difficult task of teaching others truth of Him. I’m so sorry for this time you’ve had to hurt though you’ve taught me there’s even love and peace and growth in hurting. I know there’s still a long road ahead missing Hyrum here where a little boy should still be. This too will be difficult. May God continue to bless you and pour out peace upon your family.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said.
DeleteIt take unmeasurable courage to share what you have over the past year. Thank you for sharing your path with us. Thank you for sharing Hyrum with us. We are forever changed. Our hearts and prayers are with you all and your loved ones. ❤️
ReplyDeleteThere are no words that are worthy on this sacred day. I truly hope that you can feel the prayers and the tears that are being shared with you and for you. We have watched your journey like a thief in the night, stealing these sacred moments as if they were our own. Feeling the heartache, asking “why” him and wanting to just make everything better in some magical way. But sometimes life is hard, and it sucks, sometimes we pray as hard as we can and the answers we desire don’t come, sometimes we feel like we can’t take another step and have to crawl and sometimes the pain is too much to bear and we are desperately searching for relief. I’m so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ for His plan and even thought it doesn’t offer the comfort you need now, I know that one day you will see Hyrum again and give him the biggest hug. He will thank you for being his Mom and helping him carry his cross and bearing his burden while he was on his earthly journey. We love you Erica and we are praying for you 💜
ReplyDeleteSuch a bittersweet love story! We are grateful for the beautiful example of enduring love that you have provided in sharing Hyrum's journey. May you continue to feel your sweet Angels near and may the holy ghost continue to be ever present in your home! All our love - Brian and Karen
ReplyDeleteI love your beautiful family so much! I wish I could do more then pray for your sweet family. You were so kind to mine when we met and a friend when we had no other friends in that new ward. Thank you for sharing your story and letting us mourn with you. My heart and thought and prayers have been constantly with you. I have been touched and inspired by you and your family’s walk with God. Hyrum is home! I no know words are adequate at this time, but I want you to know what an eternal bond all your family will have with him. I have an older sister who is on the other side of the veil and though there’s a hole there having that connection to heaven and her cheering us on, I can describe it even though I never had a chance to meet her here. I known Hyrum will be close to your family always and help you all through times of trial. I’m sorry I have no more to offer then my heartfelt prayers and tears and love to your family at this time. I wish I could do more. Thank you again for sharing with us and allowing us in during such a time. My family loves yours dearly and my thought and prayers and heart will be with you all.
ReplyDeleteWe met him once and our son loved to play with him. He always was and is a beautiful Angel. Gracias por hacer de sus diasyen esta Tierra un trayecto lleno de amor a pensar de las circumstancias, estamos seguros, su pequeño fue El niño mas amado. Les abrazamos!
ReplyDeleteTears and prayers for you from the Seguritans. Love you Erica😘
ReplyDeleteErica,
ReplyDeleteFor months any time you’ve popped into my head I’ve prayed for you. Switching the laundry, driving kids to school, getting ready for bed. “Please bless Erica and Hyrum and Bill and all their family. Bless them with comfort and to feel Thee near them.”
I’ve shared your posts with my family members and I’ve cried so many times for you and your family. In fact, each tear felt selfish - I was crying just imagining what it would be like to experience this…but you were crying ACTUALLY living it. Thank you for sharing the painful moments too.
Your words have been branded onto my soul. I think of some of your posts all the time. Some of your words have changed me forever, have helped me understand suffering and God’s role in it, have helped me develop hope. Most of us wonder how we would ever survive something like this, and you showed us how, or rather WHO makes it all possible.
I feel a surge of emotion when I realize the journey isn’t over for you guys. There is much yet to come by way of grieving and healing. You will be in my thoughts and prayers still. I will think of you when I wonder what hope and faith look like in real life. I’ll think of you when I’m scared about what “might” happen in life. I’ll think of you as I bear testimony of a God who can turn our deepest suffering into sacred moments.
All my love. Abby Watson
Dear Erica,
ReplyDeleteThank you to you, Caleb and your incredible family for all that you've taught us through your journey. Brandon and I pray for you guys daily and think of you often. We're happy Hyrum made it back home but are so sad he's gone.
All of our love,
Danielle (Roberts) & Brandon Gorton
You have changed, but so has everyone else who you've brought along this journey with you through your blog. Thank you for sharing, thank you for your light, thank you for being so vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteLove and prayers for you and your wonderful family. ❤️
Sending love ❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a heart and spiritual journey.
Sending you all of our love and prayers
ReplyDeleteWe love you all so much. I know Hyrum is walking with Jesus. Teresa Diel
ReplyDeleteWe love your family. I wish I could find words to lift you up and make you better like your story has lifted me and made me be better.
ReplyDeleteOur hearts are broken for you. Just as Hyrum was borne home, may you also be carried through this time with peace and rest. We love you so very, very much.
ReplyDeleteA&T Thomas family
There is never an easy way to do hard things, but alone would be harder. You and your sweet family never are, and never will never be alone ❤️❤️🩹. Thank you for allowing us to change with you
ReplyDeleteFuerza para toda tu familia..💙💙💙
ReplyDeleteWhen you were just a young girl, in Laie 1st ward, you would sometimes bear your testimony on fast Sundays. It was a strong and powerful testimony, and I remember thinking, that girl is special. You were meant for big and hard things. This is THE hardest thing ever, and I'm sorry you had to go through it. But, you have, and you will inspire and help many people with your testimony and strength.
ReplyDeleteErica, Michael, Caleb, Emily, Thank you for sharing your grief and your experiences/thoughts. This couldn’t have been easy. Erica, you have a way with words, you were able to make us understand and feel what you have been feeling and going through.
ReplyDeleteMichael, you are an amazing husband/father, you’ve been there from the start, helping Erica and the kids throughout this hard time.
Caleb, you’re little right now, but, good job for being a good little brother to your brother. He definitely appreciates it.
Emily, keep putting smiles on everyone’s faces. You’re an amazing little girl.
Caleb and Emily, you may not understand what’s going on/happening, but you will one day, right now, what you can do is to take care of each other and to keep an eye on your parents. Erica & Michael, you guys have raised an amazing family together. Continue to do so, we’re here for you.
Love, one of your Utahan neighbors
From another DIPG family, wishing Heavenly Father’s blessing, the peace of the Holy Ghost and the spiritual healing of Christ. Our Julianne passed in November of 2021, a little while before Hyrum’s diagnosis. We’re Church friends of your cousin Taylor. - The Rongeys
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that your little Angel is now at peace. I put his name in the temple every time I went and sometimes even when I didn’t go. May you feel the comfort and peace of our Heavenly Father as you go through the days, weeks and years ahead. Know that you have been an instrument in the hands of the Lord through your blog to help others who’s faith may not be as strong as yours! You and Michael have been amazing examples to all who have gone through this journey with you! Know you are all loved and you will continue to be in my prayers❣️❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteMucha fuerza Erica, te amamos, un abrazo enorme a distancia, nuestros corazones están con ustedes
ReplyDeleteWe love you
ReplyDeleteWe love you.
ReplyDeleteI have always felt that death, like birth, is sacred, because it connects us with the other side of the veil. Thank you for sharing this with us. Love and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThe jarring suddenness of this is not a surprise or unexpected…it just is. The palpable relief that he feels, a joy even, in spite of the momentary separation, compares only to the depth of sadness we feel because of that same temporary parting. He knows the secret now and we await our turn to learn it as well. Our deepest love to each of you on this journey through the valley. The light still shines.
ReplyDeleteI have been following your journey since the first blog post. And it has been heart-wrenching from the beginning - for me and my family. Your strength and vulnerability is inspiring. As is your faith. Doubtless there are countless celebrating Hyrum’s faithful return. But oh, what heartache for you and your family at this time. Praying for you constantly.
ReplyDeleteWith love,
Kurt and Natalie Schimmelbusch
We’ve prayed for you and cried with you. This truly has been a devastating journey and a beautiful one too. Prayers are continuing for you all. ❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteI just read this and I thought of how you and Michael have faced Hyrum’s illness.
ReplyDeleteIn his October 1997 general conference message, Elder Maxwell taught with great authenticity: “As we confront our own … trials and tribulations, we too can plead with the Father, just as Jesus did, that we ‘might not … shrink’—meaning to retreat or to recoil (D&C 19:18). Not shrinking is much more important than surviving! Moreover, partaking of a bitter cup without becoming bitter is likewise part of the emulation of Jesus.”
We’re heartbroken to hear of Hyrum’s passing. We love you guys so much!
ReplyDeleteWelcome home sweet Hyrum. Love from the Palo Alto Foothills Ward. - Carson and Anne Orme.
ReplyDeleteHyrum is home❤️
ReplyDeleteYou’re amazing, thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us. Hyrum is in heaven and you’ll see him again.
ReplyDeleteYou face your pain with such bravery. He is home, and he is happy. My heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteMichael used to be our home teacher as a teen. Thank you for the faith you've passed along. I have sobbed for you and your family, and extended family. So much love sent your way.
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