Angels and Prayers

I posted that last blog update, not because I really had anything inspiring to say, but because I knew that if I left myself a whole "last week of life" post to write, it'd be WAY too big and overwhelming and messy, and I'd hate writing it. After posting that unpolished journal update, I slept hard and woke up to many kind messages from friends. The view downstairs was even more surprising- Hyrum was on the living room couch, watching a show. He waved and greeted me, then asked for breakfast.

Um... what.

To my absolute surprise, the whole day was like that. And today. Not quite as strong as before, but NOTHING like Friday. He is swallowing again. Drinking liquids again. Eating food again. That "less than a week" timeline, (which is real, if he isn't able to eat and drink) has suddenly disappeared. And honestly? I can't quite figure out what happened. Here's my best guess: angels and prayers.

Friday night, while I was up sleeping with Caleb, Michael was on duty helping Hyrum not to choke... on his own spit. The one good thing that hospice nurse did for us was quickly order us a suction machine, and Michael was putting it to good use! By 3:00 a.m. he was exhausted. About that time, something changed, and he heard a voice say, "You can sleep now. We got this."

Michael slept. At 6, they both woke, still alive. MUCH more alive than Hyrum had been the day before, actually. Between an undeniable heavenly intervention and all the prayers offered after ya'll read our blog post, things really CHANGED. To be clear: I don't think prayer always works like that. I don't think God cares less if they don't. But this time, we have a LOT more good days ahead of us because of your faith. Thank you.

Hyrum's tumor is obviously advancing. It will still kill him, by either taking out his spontaneous breathing or weakening his muscles too much to swallow food/water. Any way it happens, it's painless, and there are medications to help with discomfort. We're prepared to have him go (though as I learned on Friday, being prepared does NOT make the tangible thing any easier). I do think, however, that we're prepared in more ways than we realize.

One example: our sweet fam rearranged the beds recently to make things more comfortable in our room. When I walked in after the moving, something clicked inside me. It's a furniture arrangement that's never been done (at least in my 8 years in the Mace family), but I had seen it before. I recognized it. It was a space that I knew. I felt a soul-deep echo of "This is where it happens."

I don't need to know exactly when or how it happens. We're in the right place. Somewhere, etched in my soul, is a memory from before- way back from when my soul began with God. If He cared enough then to coach me for this very tender time, He cares enough now to help us really do it. So I guess the answer to my own question from Friday is "Yes. Yes, we can."