Just a Good Ole Update

Nothing profound this time! Just an overall person by person update.

Emily. She's currently potty training herself. (Absolutely a blessing because I do not have the 3 day juice/movie/underwear marathon in me right now...) Still says "Rawr!!" very loudly at any given opportunity. Clomps around in sparkly shoes and rainbow Crocs. Climbs everything and often solicits "Should she be doing that?" from strangers. Loves to hide from me. Laughs at her own cleverness constantly. Sometimes stops being mischievous to tenderly stroke my face and ask me "Okay?"

Caleb. This boy LIVES in costumes and his brain is SO full. Last week I was about to give him his preventative inhaler (we do it twice daily) and I asked him if he had any questions before we started. His response was something like, "Well... Can monkeys really run? What does a rhino baby eat? Do eagles live everywhere on the earth? How much water is in that lake? How to baby turtles know when to hatch?" And I was just... stunned. His actual questions were SO much more creative and original than I am capable of even remembering, let alone answering... And it honestly shifted how I parent him. If he has THAT much mental dialogue and curiosity and observation running through his brain at any given moment... Of COURSE he takes a few reminders to put on his shoes!

He also asks other questions, like “What is lunch?” “What is a nap?” and “Do you love me?” With all the different lives we’re living right now, naps and lunch and my parenting really DO look different every two weeks… and that’s hard on a little guy. He has his moments of panic, playfulness, sadness, sweetness, understanding, confusion, and everything in between. He’s more socially and emotionally aware than I could have ever expected. He’s an incredible boy.

Hyrum. Is walking around, eating normal meals again, and speaking well. He’s playing with cousins, sewing with grandma, and giggling with Caleb again. I am still processing/in denial about this, but I think he’s totally at peace. With his body. With the requirements of his cancer treatments. With his still-limited physical abilities. With the experiences we’ve had this year. With the time he has left to live. With God and his parents and his siblings and himself… And I can’t really believe that happened so soon. He still has his tired days and angry moments, but all he really wants now is to see Clara.

It’s a strange spot to be in. Months ago, in a sacred priesthood blessing, Hyrum was promised that he would not die until he was ready. That he would choose when he gets to go. And seeing him now… I wonder. Is that moment now? What about his progress, all the treatments he has done? So far they seem successful, so we’ve still got time here, right? Maybe. For a long time I’ve known that he would die, but now it doesn’t feel so distant.

Michael. Continues to amaze me with his energy and strength. The outpatient weeks are more complicated for him than the hospital ones… more kids and more stuff and an emotional wife to take care of instead of just one son’s medical routine. He is crushing it at work. He adapts to new places and routines with total acceptance and gratitude. He’s aching for more positive to balance out the hard- more running or a church assignment or more happy, carefree times. We’re trying, but he’s first to sacrifice his needs and last to complain about them. I am constantly trying to figure out how to be a good wife to that man lol He’s unreal. I love him.

Erica. I probably wrote too much of myself into all those other updates already! I am doing really well. I semi-sprained my ankle again and can’t run yet. Not thrilled about that because it leaves me with an extra chunk of emotion that I have to handle a different way now… maybe this is why I gained some serious Thanksgiving weight? Lol I’m trying to find the best way to live around the fact that Hyrum could die any day now OR he could keep hanging out and doing treatments well into next year? Those both seem VERY possible so it’s kinda a draw for now and I’ve not made any big changes yet. I still feel the God-given lightness from post-Caleb’s-RSV. Morning routine isn’t settled yet and I’m trying to be patient with myself. I loved our time in UT but feel ready to fly back and do another CA round.

And that’s about it (for now) from the every day Maces. We are continually humbled and grateful for the goodness and love we receive from each of you. Thank you for choosing to take part in our journey. It is more meaningful than I can say.