Departure from Oklahoma and the New "Communication Policy"
We had a huge goodbye party with church friends (who knew our house could hold 48 people?) and a goodbye swim party with neighbors. Friends brought us road trip snacks and activities, and our sweet neighbor made us amazing, individually wrapped quesadillas and joined with another family to wake up at 2:00 am to wave us goodbye. I'm still crying about that. We had a blissful cross country drive, in which the dog did not pee in the car once (say whaaaaat?!) and the kids were all happy. Michael powered through the 18 hour drive amazingly well, pulling a small U-haul trailer in back of our van.
And then... Utah! One quick day for Hyrum and Michael to sleep and recover, then I drove them to the Provo airport for a quick flight to San Francisco. Doctor visits, tests, and paperwork began at Stanford. The apheresis (cell collection from his blood stream, kinda like donating plasma where they pump it out, run it through a machine, then pump it back in) takes place on Tuesday, possibly also Wednesday.
And here I am, just... playing? And eating delicious food? And taking a few extra naps? And wondering why this feels so odd? And trying to adjust to a phase that is 60 mph slower than the one we were just living. I think my brain might compensate for the lack of tangible action, though, and bubble up with some thoughts and feelings from the past few months. After all, this Utah month is prime time for private processing, feeling, remembering, connecting and grieving with loved ones. I think that I am ready.So if you're one of the many that gracefully read and respected my initial "I can't talk about this now", I guess it's time for me to signal a new era. My thoughts and feels are cluttered, and I don't always know what to say or how to start. Right now, I could actually use some help starting conversations about our experiences from the past few months. "Tell me about someone you miss from Oklahoma." "What is one of your favorite ways people have loved you recently?" "Is there a difficult feeling or experience you haven't had time to share with someone yet?" "Have you had a meaningful prayer or scripture study experience lately?" "What is a recent sad moment?" "How has God been a part of your journey recently?" "What is one of the thoughts or feelings you're trying to sort right now?"
I'm still not consistent at texting or messaging... So I will definitely keep missing messages here or there. But I would love to stretch a bit and talk with you! I can't articulate how grateful I am for the people who make themselves part of our healing. We love you!
Thank you for sharing your experiences and for the very thoughtful question suggestions- so much better than ‘how are you doing?’ You are so special, Erica- you have the gift for helping people in the midst of your own trials! I love you dearly.
ReplyDeleteI have loved following your family experiences. They are heavy and hard. Your family is such a great example. Thank you for allowing us to read into your thoughts and pray for your family!!
ReplyDeleteHappy to know you’re able to keep such a wonderful light in your heart.
ReplyDeleteA little Scrabble should occupy some time🤷♂️
ReplyDeleteYou are in my heart and prayers each day.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteErica, my son was diagnosed with Dipg and after a courageous battle is now a sweet angle. We are in bay area and wanting to offer help anyway we can. Please feel free to email me at mishamehta@gmail.com. good luck and god bless
ReplyDeleteDearest Erica, we in the Jimmy n Jenny Heap family are following and weeping and joying and praying-for-miracle-ing with you! I treasure your insights, and wrench at your heartaches. So happy you are surrounded by Love.❤️ Hers sending more from St Johns....❤️💟❤️🌈🙏
ReplyDeleteErica I know we don’t even really know each other but your dad is one of my favorites and so I think about you and your family A LOT. Thank you for being open and honest and willing to teach me how to mourn with those that mourn. I screen shotted your conversation starter ideas so I can use them whenever someone I love May need them. Wish I could give you a big hug.
ReplyDeleteAbby Watson