Little Inspired Emily

 Sometime last week, I found myself sitting in the corner of our back yard, pulling weeds. The boys were in bed and Emily was enjoying some last outdoor moments before her bedtime. I started crying, and Emily wandered over to my corner. "Eye, eye, eye!", she said repeatedly. "Yes, I'm crying. I'm just feeling sad." She wiggled her way between my legs and wrapper her arms around my neck.

After a moment, she pulled away, looked me in the eyes, and babbled distinctly and soberly. I replied, "It's just so hard to watch..." She hugged me again, then backed up again to see my eyes. She spoke to me again. She listened to whatever little thing I said. Hugged me again. Backed up again. Hugged me again. Spoke to me again. Listened to me. Hugged me again. 

She did that maybe 12 times. 

For good measure, after that she threw in a game of peek-a-boo and the song "Slippery Fish" to cheer me up. It was one of the most pure, remarkable experiences I've ever had. It took Emily about 4 minutes to completely change my mood - I felt hopeful, peaceful, and physically lighter after that little girl ministered to me. 

Now, I'm obviously okay with saying that Emily is just a remarkable little soul. I am her mother and happen to believe that (regardless of what she does or doesn't do). However, it made me wonder... What if we're born knowing how to grieve? How to hurt? How to mourn with those that mourn? What if it's actually a natural tendency of the soul?

I could write for a long time about the very UNNATURAL ways our culture deals with grief. We try so hard to avoid it - as an experience or even a topic of conversation. As adults, so many of us are uncertain how to grieve, or how to support someone in theirs. It's a realm where emotions run high, and without any shared social script for grief-related scenarios, it's no wonder we struggle to manage it!

I'm not offering any solutions here, BUT what I do want to suggest is that learning (or relearning!) to grieve is an essential task of humanity. It's actually a prerequisite for a celestial eternity. One of my foundational scriptures, the kind that I go back to with every unknown, is in Moses 7. (The Book of Moses is good stuff. It's a revival-era translation of part of the book of Genesis, received by revelation.) In a drawn-out conversation between Enoch and God, Enoch watches the history of mankind unfold. He sees the suffering and grief. Then, he sees something unexpected. 

"And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst weep, seeing that thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?" The Lord answers, several verses later, "Wherefore should not the heavens weep, seeing these shall suffer?" 

Guys. God weeps. I've always known that Jesus is a man of sorrows (Isaiah 53:3), a man who weeps with grieving friends regardless of the eventual outcome (John 11:35). But my mind was blown when I first learned that GOD - that big eternal being, who's kinda hard to fish out in the scriptures since He always talks through/about Jesus, HE ALSO WEEPS. 

Things that matter to me about this verse:

1. There is still crying and weeping and suffering in heaven. (See also Isaish 25:8) Probably not the same kind that we have here- but it exists there. (Doctrine and Covenants 76:10 says that there are things that have "not yet entered into the heart of man", and I suspect that God's omniscience also includes some very impressive emotional intelligence that allows for the peaceful juxtaposition of sorrows and joys.) 

2. God doesn't enjoy our suffering. I know that He might seem like the cause of it sometimes. It's almost impossible to distinguish between the things God creates, causes, or simply allows to happen... And I don't want to minimize the difficulty and pain involved in that question. However, because I am a parent, and I look to Him as a father figure, I'm okay with the fact that suffering still exists under His leadership. I don't take away all the hard things from my kids either. It's just part of life. What does matter to me is the way that He views our suffering.

3. Mourning with someone is a powerful, godly activity. In Moses 7, God actually teaches Enoch how to grieve. "The Lord spake unto Enoch, and... Enoch knew, and looked upon their wickedness, and their misery, and wept and stretched forth his arms, and his heart swelled wide as eternity, and his bowels yearned, and all eternity shook." The act of seeing people, being willing to feel with them, weeping... it's so powerful that it SHAKES ETERNITY. 

I know it is shaking mine. And I think... in a good way.